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your gradual descent into a life you never meant

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cant stop the ending to infinitize your soul... [03 Sep 2005|08:32pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

**the FAINT@#!$!! is playing in NYC on october 16 holy shiiiiiiiiiiit. daps to that, ooooh.

*bright eyes is touring again...???

*my hair is getting so long. yay yayayayaaaay.

*got my orenda/maria/surprise guest aka the faint tickets @#!!!!#$!!!

*tilly sold out...wtf...i'm totally going to end up paying 50 dollars to get in, i dont even care its so fucking worth it for tilly, neva, willy mason and david dondero HOLY CRAP.

*mystic pizza is a really good movie.

*ooooook. i got promoted at work and got a (kind of) crappy raise BUT at least i have to work 40 hours now and can get paid when i leave the area for weeks at a time.

*i hate fall..........that's about it. <33333333

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[27 Aug 2005|08:33pm]
[ mood | determined ]

you know what is a good feeling??

when you are so excited you could puke.

<3

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[12 Aug 2005|08:27pm]
[ mood | lame ]

i met her today??!?!!?!

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it's lalaine from the lizzie mcguire show. she was doing some concert thing at our mall and came into our store and i thought it was pretty neat. there was a security guard following her every move so i HAD to ring her up so i could talk to her. i told her i liked her purse and she was all thankful and nice. i'm sooo lame. i swear people dont really make me nervous but for some reason she did. i think it's probably cause i'm dumb and love the lizzie mcguire show so much. jen wanted me to ask for her autograph but i was to embarassed so i made her do it...

gah i think i'm actually 12.

anywho. i bought so much stuff today and i shouldnt have. whatever, paydays rule. so do sushi dates tomorrow with amanda.

i guess that's all. peace. <33333

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i will not pretend, i will not put on a smile, i will not say i'm alright for you... [21 Jul 2005|01:34pm]
[ mood | confused ]

wow. what a past few days. sometimes i'm ok and sometimes i'm not ok at all. i guess i need to be near someone to be ok. and right now i'm pretty much all alone...

so umm. yea. tonight is maria taylor and if i make it without crying through leap year it might just be a miracle. last night was neva denova. so amazing. and mayday is really good, too. during spring cleaning i was a little emotional but always get embarassed so i have to hold things back in public. it was nice to see dan and i'm glad he came to say hi. i love nice people.

i never wrote about tegan and sara. what a show. what amazing girls. i've spent the past hour reading their tour journals wishing i was friends with them.

martha wainwright is seriously so fucking amazing. i dont know why i like music that makes me cry. it's just a dumb girl thing i suppose.

i dont know how to make sense of anything.

so. peace.

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you are not worth waiting for... [09 Jul 2005|11:21pm]
[ mood | weird. ]

http://www.saddle-creek.com/sounds/OrendaFink_Bloodline.mp3
oh orenda. you are just lovely. i cannot wait to see you in september. you should really have a talk with your friend about eating though...

saddle creek is making some sort of movie and that scares me. http://s41.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0LD0DCE1L9R4121RCCQP88B8J4 i guess that is the trailer?

a lot of shows coming up. neva dinova is playing next week. and also maria taylor!! then folk festival...then in september the saddle creek cmj thing at bowerey. holy amazing.

in real life news...i saw wes today. gah. he's a model now. figures?!?! and walk in fashion week? what?? and he's going to work at the bloomingdales in soho and stalk the olsens for me...sweet. i will meet mary kate one day. i swear it will happen...from my crazy adventures i have learned that if you really want something to happen bad enough, it will.

<33333


fuck i missed 11:11 and didnt get to wish!!!!!

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and the shape that's in the mirror, you swear it's not the same... [15 Jun 2005|12:15pm]
[ mood | alright ]

i'm so emotional. i just downloaded a live version of neely o'hara at lupos and totally started crying. amanda would get it. this song live just takes me breath away.

last night i had a dream mary kate died...some sort of flu or something but in my dream i knew it was because she stopped eating again. and i told amanda and we were crying and it was heartbreaking.

and the other night i had a dream i was at some library or museum in new york with someone...and we were just looking around and then these girls came out of nowhere and started attacking and screaming and we had to split up and i was looking for the door and finally found it and right in front of the door was this suv with mk driving. and she just looked at me and it was weird....then i had to run around nyc to find someone...and did? and all was good.

in real life news, jaime and derek from tilly and the wall are engaged? how ADORABLE!?! ...and odd considering i was convinced he liked boys...whatevs.

oh, i drove a go kart of the first time yesterday.

so i have today off, but it is cold and crappy. so who knows if i'll even bother showering. i'm currently downloading the faints live performance from lupos. and then i will do the same with bright eyes...and later i might watch heathers and make fun of/want to be winona ryder. ok peace. <3

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dont expect too much, ok? [04 Jun 2005|09:25pm]
[ mood | confused ]

the new maria taylor cd is reaaaaaally fucking great. it gives me a nervous and sad feeling in my stomach. i really feel so bad for her.


i'm so confused. i'm not really sure about anything right now. i need another break from reality. please? just one week away from everyone and everything. i'd like to lie on a beach somewhere warm and just rest and relax and be fucking happy. ughhh. <3


there's no burden that will agonize you,
a worry that will weigh you down.
not the memories that hypnotize you,
you won't turn around.
you can't love me, you can't love me.

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yea kiss my mouth, hell is here... [31 May 2005|10:22pm]
[ mood | aaaahhhhh ]

coming home from tour always breaks my heart. especially this time?

oh lordy. it was amazing and i should be RIDICULOUSLY happy but i'm soooo sad to be back. i'm thankful for sunday night. so thankful. the best night ever i think? i love lucky pennies. and christina ricci and her bloody nose. and dogs.

i dont know. this is soooo fucked up. aaaand this song is making me cry.


so wake, baby, wake.
leave that blanket around you,
there is nothing as safe.
i'm leaving this place,
there is nothing i'm planning to take.
just you, just you, just you, just you, just you.

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this one will bring you love... [18 May 2005|08:18pm]
[ mood | SOEFFINGNERVOUS!!! ]

john is 22 tomorrow <333

new consafos songs are sososososoooo good.

and.

i'm sooo nervous. i want this next week to be like it was BEFORE. i'm listening to live songs from the first tour. we were at that entire fucking tour (sans nebraskaaaa). it was the first time we heard the songs from i'm wide awake its morning and no one else knew the songs and the audience and the new songs and the different cities, and aaaaaaaaaah. i want that back!! i just listened to always on my mind and started crying. i cant even believe any of that happened. old memories that are wonderful always seem like a dream...

i have a feeling i'm going to get broken ribs during the faint. and i cant daaaaance.

i'm seriously having a panic attack because its one day away and i dont knooooow@#$!#!#$@!!@ i just want it to be incredible.

be amazing. be worth it. dont be lame dont be lame dont be lame dont be lame.



have a great 2 weeks. i hope i do, too. maybe i'll see some of you? xo.

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lame... [13 May 2005|09:11pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

maybe i'm an asshole.

but i lose a lot of respect for bands when they sign to major record labels.

it kind of hurts that its rilo kiley is now on warner bros? i dont know, whatever...whateverrrr.

it just means that i'll have to get over my jenny lewis crush and now there is a time limit on the months before they get really popular, and then really lame, and then no one will care about them anymore.

i sure hope they get rich quick!

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anyone? [13 May 2005|01:38am]
[ mood | errr? ]

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...wtf? when did jake gylenhaal and jenny lewis date?!?!!???!!

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poop. [12 May 2005|12:22am]
[ mood | out of my mind ]

this should be interesting.

apparently they (faint/bright eyes) have videos set up to go along with the songs for this tour...so in conclusion...same set list...23892389 nights in a row?? oh...crap...

that means he really IS going to play lover i dont have to love and i will have to shoot someone. or kick them in the teeth...i hate girlzzzzzzzz. "OMG DO ME!"...you wish, bro. you wish.

SUSHI DATES WITH AMANDA ARE AMAAAZING. plus. i just bought the hottest clothes ever. i swear i look like i raided mischa bartons closet. be jealous!!!!!

and new tegan and sarah (h? sara?) is ADORABLE. yaaay.

ok. strep throat. i swear, if you dont go away, i'm going to die...how much medication can one girls body handle? wtf?

ugh. <3

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deep as any paper plate, dressed just like the girl beside you... [26 Apr 2005|01:04am]
[ mood | force fed pop culture shit ]

ok you know how there are those types of people that are real life pretty and you hate them because they always look better than you no matter what???...but then there are the type that only look good with distored camera angles and crappy makeup jobs? i hate them. i also hate people that try so hard to dress cool they just end up looking like an asshole.

myspace is so lame i dont know why i spend hours on it.

OH. according to the 9:30 club ryan adams and parker posey are no more. breaks my heart in a way. also, he has a new album coming out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooooooh snap.

...and maria is going to be in like japan and shit. oh lordy. <333333

PS: i went to nyc and didnt see the olsens. WTF!!

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fuck, it's early... [22 Apr 2005|07:53am]
[ mood | mythroathurts!@#!! ]

prom was amazing. except the room was spinning and i couldnt really adjust. damn pills and being sick and stuff. kellie was the hottest tina turner i'd ever seen.

todd and orenda got married and i'm a little upset i didnt get an invite to the wedding....

umm. ryan adams is playing next wednesday and i have to close...WTFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!

jenny lewis, the love of my life....why are you and fellow rilo kiley-etts touring DURING bright eyes? and why are you coming here like 2 days after?? seriously, no. how could you do this to me!!#$!!$@#! you know i will be away!! boohoo.

OH the jenny lewis solo stuff is AMAZING. thank you conor for the CD!$#@!@ :) :)

i should really be asleep but i have to go to the doctors and have them take blood and do tests and dumb stuff i hate. yaay doctors!!!!!

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being sick is duuuuumb. [17 Apr 2005|03:02pm]
[ mood | sick ]

i just got back from the ER to find out i have strep...wtf? and i'm peeing blood. it's soooo hot. but i'm only giving my body like 2 days to get better because i have too much stuff to do this weeeeeeek!#@$!@

at least they gave me vicodin?!? thanks???

anywho. saw maria taylor wednesday. she is amazing and totally in love with amanda and i and i dont know. she came up to US to hug US and was all excited and we were just kind of like....holy crap!@#!! its cause we are AMAZING. har mar superstar molested us. no big. and ben lee headlined. and he has the hottest accent/lisp ever! but he's kind of weird...

thursday was m. ward. i swear to god he has the sexiest voice i have ever heard in my liiiiiife. i wish he had played more songs though. i swear he only played like 8. and he didnt play hi-fi!!!! :/

i feel like crap so i'm gonna go eat popsicles and sleep. yaaaay strep r00lzzzzz :(

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